


40 Drops

by rufus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Dark Fic Fest, F/M, M/M, Multi, de-age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:42:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufus/pseuds/rufus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dystopian AU wherein Voldemort was defeated but Dolores Umbridge has taken over as the Dark Lady and, with the help of Pansy Parkinson, is attempting to weed out the non-Pureblooded one baby at a time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	40 Drops

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 40. We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. – Plato
> 
> Originally published on LJ on 6/30/2007. Beta'd by Mnemosyne.
> 
> Warnings: character death (Hermione Granger), extremely foul language, child in (perceived, though not actual) peril, cold-blooded murder, non-fatal violence against pregnant ladies. There is absolutely no sex of any kind in this fic, though Remus and Severus do get to do some snogging at the end. Also, only tangentially related to my assigned quote.

"You _idiot_." The voice was female, but too posh to be his mother. 

Severus took a careful breath, acutely aware of the bitter taste in his mouth ( _medicine?_ ) and the dull throbbing at the base of his skull. His body felt heavy and hot, as if he had a fever. There was fabric beneath his fingers that felt like sheets, but whatever he was lying on was too hard to be his bed. He took another, deeper breath and wiggled his fingers experimentally; when that didn't hurt, he moved on to his toes.

"All you said was to see to it that he wouldn't cause us any trouble," replied a man who definitely was not his father.

The woman muttered something that sounded like _bloody Hufflepuffs_ , and then the "sheets" twitched beneath Severus' fingers and transformed into robes and something hard and shoe-like bumped up against his toes. He made a startled noise and a small, clammy hand settled on his forehead. Severus twitched away from it automatically and rolled onto his side.

"Right," the witch murmured, and Severus heard faint rustling noises. "He's your responsibility. Try not to cock it up any further, if you can."

There was a long pause, and Severus opened his eyes carefully and snuck a look at them, wondering first if he was dreaming, and second if he was going to need to dodge any hexes. But the man ( _wizard_ , there was a wand in his hand) just flushed a dull red and straightened his massive shoulders.

"I'll wait for you outside, shall I?" the witch asked, then tossed her glossy black hair over her shoulder and swept off in a swirl of pale pink robes.

"Cunt," the wizard muttered and prodded Severus with his foot. "Go on, get up, I can see you're awake."

Severus got to his feet slowly, staggering a little as the room spun lazily around him, and reluctantly permitted the wizard to put a steadying hand on his shoulder. When his vision cleared, he realized that whereever they were, it looked remarkably like the back room of the apothecary shop in Diagon Alley that he and his mother went to sometimes for potions ingredients. 

Then he noticed that there were over-turned cauldrons scattered through the room, and two people lying on the floor beside them, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. One of them had pool of blood where his neck should have been, and the other had traded her hair for a several thick brown snakes. One of them still had its fangs sunk deep in her right eye, and the flesh around it was swollen and discoloured. For one horrible moment he thought she might have been his mum, but then he noticed her pale, smooth hands, and was able to breathe again.

 _I'm having a nightmare_ , Severus decided. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself awake, but when he opened them again, the room (and the dead people) were still there. The wizard made an irritated noise and Severus pinched himself, hard, but there was still no change. He turned to look at the wizard, a horrible sinking feeling taking hold in his belly. If the woman on the floor was not his mother . . . where was she? 

"She's all right, really, she just gets, well . . . you know . . ." the wizard muttered, and pushed Severus towards the door. "Spent too much time with Himself during the war and it made her a bit funny, I reckon." 

_War?_ Severus thought, and then _Himself?_ Before he could work out which question he wanted to ask first they were outside, blinking in the sunlight, and the witch was walking towards them, smiling faintly. Severus rose up on his toes and scanned the crowd quickly, looking for his mum's black hair and purple robes . . . she had to be somewhere nearby . . . 

"I have spoken with our Lady," the witch said, and Severus settled back down on his feet as the wizard went very still behind him. "We – or rather, you – have been given one more task. She has requested that you retrieve the bottles of rose hip shampoo she ordered last week."

"Shampoo," the wizard repeated, his voice curiously flat, and the witch's smile broadened.

"She said she may be inclined to . . . overlook your earlier indiscretion, should you be able to find them," the witch murmured, "I think I may have seen them, actually, in the work room. Just by the door."

There was another long pause, and then the wizard squeezed Severus' shoulder gently, turned and stepped back into the shop. Alarmed, and not especially keen to be alone with the witch, Severus moved to follow him. He was barely over the doorstep when the witch grabbed his arm and yanked him back.  

"Perhaps we'll have some ice cream, while he searches," she said, and began tugging him down the street, rolling her wand between her fingers as they walked. "I believe I even saw some raspberry ripple through the window earlier."

Severus was opening his mouth to say _I hate raspberry ripple_ when he heard a faint _whump_ , followed by the distinctive crackle of fire, and the sound of people shouting spells. The witch stopped walking and spun them both around, tightening her grip on Severus' arm as she did so. 

"Oh dear," the witch said, as Severus stared at the flames shooting out of the windows of the apothecary, her voice as calm as if she were discussing a broken tea cup. "Our Lady will be distressed at the loss of her shampoo."

 _A bit funny, my arse_ , Severus thought, as she turned and started tugging him down the street again, picking her way through the gathering crowd. _She's completely mad._ He took one last quick look around, inhaled deeply and started screaming for all he was worth. It didn't help; the witch just dug her fingernails deeper into his arm and hissed a silencing spell. When they passed Flourish & Blotts he tried throwing himself on the ground, but she was too strong, and he only succeeded in skinning his knees. 

"Is everything all right, lad?" asked a fat wizard in blue robes, and stepped into their path. 

_No,_ Severus mouthed, _help me,_ as the dark haired witch snarled a curse. The fat wizard fell back, shrieking and clawing at as his face, as his eyes sprouted tentacles. Then two witches ran out of a nearby shop, one delicate and slender, the other broad and solid as a brick wall. The slender one eye's widened when she saw him, as if she knew him ( _a customer of mum's, maybe?_ ) and he felt a brief bubble of hope form in his chest. But they only got off two jinxes before the black haired witch's wand emitted two bursts of green light and they collapsed, lifeless, onto the cobblestones.

For a moment, everyone was very quiet.

Severus took advantage of the distraction to sink his teeth into the witch's arm. She shrieked and flung him into the side of a cart piled high with cauldrons, and the world went black. 

**

The next time Severus opened his eyes his headache was gone, and he was lying, still fully dressed, on a bed surrounded by a heavy green curtain. _Oh,_ he thought, _I'm at St. Mungos_ , and the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach eased a little. Severus lay still for a moment, counting his fingers and toes, then sat up and pulled the curtain back. To his dismay, his mother was still nowhere to be seen; instead there was a purple-haired witch in plain black robes sitting in a chair next to his bed, reading a book of some kind. 

"Where's my mum?" he asked, before he could stop himself. 

The witch shut the book with a faint _thump_ and rose slowly, surprise and irritation both plain on her face. Severus had just enough time to notice the broad swell of her stomach before the door on the other side of the room popped open and three more people walked in. The first two were wizards, both wearing the dark red robes of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. One of them was quite tall, and had a shiny bald head; the other one was much smaller, and had messy black hair, glasses, and a funny shaped scar on his forehead. They both looked very cross. The third one was an elderly witch in a funny white hat.

 _The fire,_ Severus thought, panic bubbling up again. _They think I set the fire._

"I didn't do it," Severus said, and all of the adults turned to look at him. "I just woke up and the –"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt, you are not to interrogate this child," the witch in the hat interrupted, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Really, I must insist –"

"Ten people were killed in Diagon Alley this morning, and this _child_ is one of our few conscious witnesses," the black-haired wizard snapped, and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I didn't do it," Severus said, mostly to himself, and pressed his hands into his eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. _Ten people. I'm going to die in Azkaban._ "I want my mum," he added, and then was embarrassed for having said it out loud. 

The adults went silent for a minute, and then Severus felt a warm hand brush over his knee. He lowered his hands to find the old witch standing in front of him, her expression softer than it had been before.

"Just a few questions, love, and we'll get it all sorted out," she said, removing her hand. "Can you tell me your full name?

"Severus Raphael Snape," he said and tried to sit up straight. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and the black haired wizard made a startled noise. 

"And your parents, what are their names?" she asked.

"Eileen and Tobias Snape," Severus said, and took a deep, steadying breath. _Where_ was his mother? Surely she had noticed he was missing by now . . . 

"I see," the old witch murmured. Behind her, the purple-haired witch had gone very pale, and the bald wizard's face settled into an expression that Severus couldn't interpret. He didn't dare look at the black haired wizard. "And where do you live, Severus?"

For one awful moment he couldn't remember, but then the familiar spire of the factory floated up in his mind, and he relaxed.

"In Keighley, ma'am, just up from the canal," he said. The old witch's expression turned thoughtful, and the pink haired witch murmured something that sounded like _holy mother of Merlin_.

"Right," the old witch said, after a moment, her voice low and soft. "What's today's date and name of the Minister for Magic?"

"Today is . . ." Severus paused and squeezed his eyes shut briefly, trying to _think_ , and to remember past opening his eyes in the shop. But all he could think of were the flames coming out of the windows and the witch talking about ice cream. "Don't know, ma'am," he whispered, and bit his lip.

"That's perfectly all right, dear," she said, and gave his knee a gentle squeeze. "Ten minutes, gentlemen, and then he needs to rest."

"Please, ma'am, but where's my mum?" Severus asked, as she stepped away. The old witch froze, and then gave him a smile he _knew_ was fake. 

"Is she – is she dead?" he choked out, as the room began to blur. "Why hasn't she come for me?" 

Horrified at his own weakness, Severus looked down at his lap. He managed one more breath, and then there were arms around him, and a hand rubbing slow circles in his back.

"No, dear, she isn't dead," the old witch murmured in his ear. "She's just . . . delayed. Harry and I, and some of our friends – we're going to look after you until she gets here, all right?" 

Severus didn't believe _that_ for a minute, but he nodded anyway, and after a while the old witch released him.

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," the bald wizard said. "Right, Mr. Snape, why don't you start from the beginning, from when you . . . woke up." 

Severus swallowed carefully and launched into his tale. They made him stop and start a few times, and the black-haired wizard went pale as a ghost and turned away when he described the witch with snakes for hair. By the time he got to the end, the tears were threatening again, and he was both embarrassed and grateful when the old witch pushed a cup of sweet, milky tea into his hands.

Severus sniffed at it, as his mother had taught him to do, but all it smelled of was tea. He drank it slowly, half listening to the adults talk and half willing his mother to just _appear_ and take him home. After a while he gave up on eavesdropping, set the cup table by the bed, and lay back down. He was tired, and most of what they were saying ( _holding cells are not suitable accommodation for a child_ and _it's likely she'll try again_ ) made no sense at all.

**

Sometime later, Severus felt arms slide beneath his legs and shoulders, and the flat, smooth surface of the bed was replaced by scratchy wool that smelled of pipe tobacco and lager. Severus made a startled noise and tried to pull away, but the arms just squeezed tighter.

"Shhh," his captor whispered, and Severus heard a muffled _crash!_ followed by high-pitched screaming. "Shhh now. It's your old friend Dung, t'missus sent me to bring you to – to a safe place. Settle down, now."

 _Friend?_ Severus thought, and then the world went black again.

**

"Oi, Lupin! Show yourself," Dung bellowed, as he set Severus on his feet. There was just enough light in the corridor they were standing in for Severus to see that the walls were lined with books and jars full of dead animals. Or at least _mostly_ dead animals; some of them seemed to still be moving . . .

He was peering at one especially strange-looking specimen when a door opened in one of the walls, and a candle floated out, followed by a small, stooped, grey-haired figure supported by two thick walking sticks.

"What is Club Withers?" Lupin said, his voice low and hoarse, as if he had a bad throat.

"Full of manky saddles," Dung replied, a thread of amusement in his voice. "Right, here he is, and t'missus said to tell you t'gov'nor'd be by in a bit to explain." 

Dung prodded Severus forward with one hand, and the candle descended slowly, until it was floating above Severus' head. Up close, Severus could see that despite the grey hair, Lupin looked more tired and ill than old.

"All right," Lupin said, not taking his eyes off of Severus. "Will you join us for a cup of tea before you go?"

"Can't, mate, sorry," Dung said. "Gov'nor's orders, you know how it is." 

Lupin frowned faintly, then nodded. Severus opened his mouth to protest, because his mum would never have approved of _this_ , but before he could say anything, Dung vanished with a soft _pop!_

**

_Bong! Bong! Bong!_

"That'll be Harry now, I reckon," Lupin said, as he floated a plate full of chocolate biscuits onto the table in front of Severus. "I'll just go and get him, all right?"

Severus blinked at him, not sure how to answer the question. Lupin smiled faintly and stumped off down the corridor. Severus waited until he was out of earshot to pick up a biscuit and sniff it. It smelled mainly of chocolate, with a hint of vanilla. Severus, suddenly ravenous, ate it in two quick bites and reached for another one.

Three biscuits later, Lupin still hadn't returned. Severus slid off his chair and moved to the entrance to the corridor. The lights from the kitchen only reached as far as the threshold; the rest of the way was pitch black. And all of the candles in the kitchen were floating near the ceiling, too far away for him to reach even while standing on a chair.

Severus scowled and took a couple of steps forward. He could hear Lupin talking, but the words were indistinct. Calling out for the man would probably bring all of them to the kitchen, but he knew from bitter experience that adults never said anything interesting if they thought he was listening. He was going to have to get closer. Severus leaned over and tugged his boots and socks off, then extended one arm to let his fingertips drag against the pebbly surface of the wall and set off into the darkness.

The way was longer than he remembered, and full of odd smells and strange rustling noises. Twice he considered turning back to the kitchen – Lupin kept mostly-alive dead things in jars, Merlin only knew what might be lurking underfoot – but a growing sense of anger propelled him forwards. Pomfrey had said she was going looking after him, and instead he was stuck _here,_ with a man who might try and pickle him.

"And the Ministry?" Lupin said, as Severus slid into a convenient shadow by the door, his toes curling against the damp stones beneath his feet. 

Aside from Lupin, there were four other people in the front hall. The black-haired wizard from St. Mungo's ( _Harry?_ ), two red-haired wizards (one tall and broad, one short and solid) and a tall, slender figure in a dark cloak. They were all wearing dark robes, and the tall, broad one had a crossbow, of all things, slung across his back. The short, solid one was wearing a sword.

"Unstable Babbling Beverage, terrible shame, we all know he hadn't been well lately, probably had some illegal bits and bobs laying about, for it go up so suddenly," said the tall broad one, and Lupin made a noise that sounded a lot like a growl.

"And Tonks was surprised by a boggart in the corridor at St. Mungo's," the short solid one said, his mouth twisting into an unpleasant smile. "She was so frightened she accidentally stabbed her own arms."

Lupin inhaled sharply, and the short one shrugged one shoulder. 

"She's all right now," he murmured. "Tucked up with mum and Fleur in Grimmauld Place. Told me the baby is still playing Quidditch with her liver and, ah, how did she put it, Bill?"

"That we were not to forget to burn the bitch, when we catch her, I believe is what she said," said the one in the cloak, and flipped his hood back. "Fleur wanted to come along, like, and lend us her claws, but she's too far along herself, really."   
Severus froze, mesmerized by the scars on his face and the thick yellow band that was expanding slowly outward from his pupils. _Werewolf eyes_ , his brain filled in, and then Lupin turned so that the light caught his face _just so_ , and he was developing werewolf eyes too.

Severus screamed, and bolted back the way he had come. He ran first to the kitchen, and then through the first door he could yank open, which led to another dark hallway. Severus was about to try another door when he heard someone calling his name and took off down the corridor. It was twistier than the other one, though slightly better lit, and eventually he found another door that would open for him. 

He ducked in and slammed the door behind him, hard, and relaxed a little when he heard the lock _snick_ into place. He turned around slowly and realized that most of the room was taken up with velvet-skirted tables covered in a miniature model of the route of the Hogwarts Express. The remaining floor space was full of mangled dolls and torn up toys, all perched awkwardly on broken child sized furniture. On the other side of the room there was another arched doorway, but the room beyond it was dark.

"Bloody – _Alohamora!_ " someone said on the other side of the door, and Severus dropped to his knees and crawled under King's Cross. 

It was probably a bit useless, hiding from werewolves, but Severus felt he had to try. He curled up into a tight ball, jammed his face into his knees to muffle his breathing, and thought of several soothingly unpleasant things to do to Pomfrey once he was a ghost. He thought about his mum as well (she had to be looking for him, she _had_ to be) and then the horrible witch in the pink robes, and had to bite his lip quite hard to keep from crying.

To his surprise, the door did not burst open, and the shouting and thumping stopped after a while as well. Puzzled, and a little suspicious, Severus uncurled and pushed the curtain open just enough to get a clear look at the room. 

Lupin was standing next to the pile of broken toys, leaning on his sticks, and there was a tray full of food floating behind him. 

"Severus," Lupin said, sounding both sad and slightly annoyed. "Please come out. I'm sorry we frightened you. They've gone now, and I'm not going to hurt you. "

Severus dropped the curtain and wiggled backwards, his heart pounding in his chest. _Go away,_ he thought, _please, please go away._

"Severus?" Lupin just sounded sad now, and tired. Severus heard a few muffled thumping noises, followed by rustling, and then silence. "There's some roast beef sandwiches and pumpkin juice here for you, and I brought you some clean things to change into. Please come out now."

There was another long pause, and then Lupin sighed quietly.

"All right," he said, and Severus heard more rustling and thumping. "I made a proper bed for you in the study, if you want it. Just go out the door and back the way you came, through the kitchen and to the right. Poppy's put some more things in there for you, as well."

Severus rolled up onto his knees and waited until he heard the faint _pop!_ of Lupin's Apparition before he emerged from his sanctuary. He circled cautiously around the food, half-inclined to leave it untouched, but then his stomach overrode him and he ate. Afterwards, he shucked off his outer robes, then dragged several of the larger plush toys under the table, spread the clean set of robes Lupin had brought him out as makeshift sheet and blanket, and fell into a fitful, uneasy sleep.

**

"Merlin on toast." The new voice was female, Scottish, and quite close. 

Severus jerked awake and scrambled away, still clutching a slightly battered stuffed nundu. The room was still mostly dark, but he could see the outline of her face, topped by a pointy hat and surrounded by thick white hair.

"Minerva, please, leave him be," Lupin said, from somewhere behind her, and Severus stifled a scream. "He'll come out eventually."

"No," the witch said firmly. "He'll come out now. Severus Snape, stop this nonsense this instant –"

_Bang!_

A door Severus hadn't noticed the night before popped open and a blonde witch wearing a necklace of butterbeer corks staggered in, one hand pressed to her enormously swollen belly. Her face was bruised and dirty, and when she smiled Severus could see she was missing some teeth. There was another loud _bang!_ and then a tall, slender wizard with bright blond hair fell appeared behind her. His robes were torn and bloody, and there were several scratches on his face.

"We've just come from Mother Macrees," the blonde witch said to Lupin, as Minerva let go of the curtain and stood up. "There's been some stock ruined, but I don't think it's any great loss."

" _Malfoy_ ," the old witch said, looking at the blonde wizard, her voice crackling with irritation.

Severus took a deep breath and inched forward, gathering himself to make a run for the open door. He was poised to bolt when the blonde witch caught his eyes and shook her head slowly. Severus stared at her for a minute, then rocked back on his heels. _I'll wait until she's distracted,_ he decided, and pretended not to notice when she smiled at him.

"Five to three, and Shacklebolt's called for reinforcements," the blond wizard said, and dropped gracefully to his knees as Lupin Transfigured a broken doll bed into something much larger, and helped the blonde witch to sit down. "Greg killed one of them with a rattle, and Bones–" 

"I do believe I've quite gone off the colour pink," the blonde witch interrupted, her voice higher and threadier than it had been before. "Turquoise is so much –"

"How many minutes?" Lupin said, and when he waved his wand over her head the air around her turned bright blue. 

"Ten," she said. "Did you know mooncows produce _two_ placentas? They eat one of them, naturally, but the other one is . . ." she trailed off into silence, then made a noise halfway between a giggle and a moan. 

Malfoy's face tightened, and he turned to look at her. She smiled at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. _Now,_ Severus thought, and slid a hand up to push the velvet out of his way. Much to his irritation, the blonde witch noticed him again, and when she frowned, all of the adults turned around to look at him as well.

"Merlin on a _broom_ ," Malfoy said, and something that looked like a potions vial appeared in the palm of his left hand.

He stared at Severus, his grey eyes wide (and _only grey_ , Severus was relieved to note) until the blonde witch let out an ear-piercing shriek and the air around her glowed bright red. Malfoy went white as a sheet and lunged towards her; Lupin shoved him away, one-armed, and Minerva Transfigured a nearby cooking set into a massive cauldron and started chanting in Latin.  
"Get him out of here, Malfoy," Lupin shouted, and before Severus could protest he was yanked out of his sanctuary and carried off.

Severus kicked Malfoy a couple of times, and tried to bite him, but all he got for his trouble was a sharp yank on his hair and murmured threats of binding charms. By the time they got to the kitchen, Severus was almost sobbing with rage, and Malfoy was limping badly. Severus was drawing his leg back for another go when all of his limbs froze in place, and Malfoy dropped him on the counter with a low grunt of relief.

"I saved my notes, don't worry," he said, mostly to himself. "So we can go over them later, and you can tell me what an imbecile I am."

Severus stared at him, completely confused, and then Malfoy shook another potions vial out of his sleeve, popped the cork off, and poured it down Severus' throat before he could think to resist. It was thick and sweet ( _poppies?_ ) and Severus felt a heaviness seep through his limbs almost immediately. 

"All right?" Malfoy muttered, then twisted the top off the first vial, and raised it to Severus' lips. 

Severus clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes as best he could, and thought _NO_ as firmly as possible. Malfoy made a clucking noise and pinched Severus' nose shut until he was forced to either open his mouth or be smothered. The second potion tasted mostly of chalk, peppers, frankincense and myrrh, and Severus gagged twice as it went down.

"Sorry," Malfoy said, so softly Severus almost didn't hear him, then picked him up again and carried him into what appeared to be Lupin's bedroom. _No,_ Severus thought, as they came through the door, but he was already too fuzzy with sleep to mount a real offense. By the time Malfoy got him settled him on the mattress, he was out cold.

**

Severus woke slowly, vaguely aware of a warm weight lodged behind his knees and a dull, aching heaviness in his limbs. He lay still for while, counting his fingers and toes (all there) and checking for the Mark (still gone), before he opened his eyes. 

To his surprise, he was in his own bed and wearing his own clothes. More puzzlingly, Draco Malfoy was curled up on the quilt next to him, wearing one of Remus' ratty old nightshirts. He was weighing the merits of waking the boy when the warmth behind his knees started purring.

Severus shifted his limbs carefully so he could get a proper look, and his heart sank when he caught sight of a very familiar tabby cat. He couldn't fathom what would bring her (or Draco, for that matter) to _his_ bed, but he was absolutely certain it was nothing good. 

He pressed his face into his pillow and took a couple of deep breaths. He did not permit himself to think the words _Remus is dead._ After a minute, he reached down and prodded the cat's flank gently. She opened her eyes, yawned hugely, and proceeded to clamber over his knees and resettle herself next to Draco's folded arms.

Severus stared at her for a moment, nonplussed, then swung his legs out from under the coverlet and pushed himself to his feet. He reached out for his wand and scowled when he found it was missing from its usual place on the bedside table. It wasn't under his pillow either, and it hadn't fallen under the bed.

He checked the bedside table once more, just to be _sure_ , then picked his way around the four (or perhaps five) sets of blood-spattered robes scattered on the floor of his bedroom to get to the door to the study. The one nearest the door was the bloodiest of the lot, and quite like the one Remus had been wearing the last time Severus had seen him. He made a point of not looking at it too closely.

 _You have faced worse than this_ , he reminded himself, but he stood still for quite some time, eyes closed and hand on the door, before he could bring himself to push it open. 

He was only slightly startled to find Luna Malfoy sitting on Remus' chaise lounge wrapped in a blanket with an infant suckling at her breast, though something about it seemed . . . wrong. She smiled at him, her eyes crinkling at the edges, and he looked away, suddenly aware that she was half-naked and he was wearing nothing but one of Remus' ragged old Harpies t-shirts and a loose pair of pyjama pants. _Why_ had he not gone in search of his dressing gown?

"You've come back from your adventure," she said, sounding quite pleased. "I was quite sure you would, you know. And I told Draco that a nice cup of tea with peppercorn and cloves always makes me feel a bit more myself after a long journey."

 _Peppercorns_ , Severus thought, and pressed his fingertips against the ridges of his eyes. Really, being forced to contend with Luna before his first cup of tea was completely unfair. She shifted the child onto her shoulder, and the blanket slipped down, revealing the tip of a still-pink scar that appeared to stretch the length of her belly.

"Too soon," Severus whispered, as the reason for his discomfort clicked into place. 

Luna should not be nursing in his sitting room because she was . . . had been . . . at least one month away from delivering twins. Severus squinted at the child in her arms . . . it _seemed_ healthy enough, but unless he had been _unconscious_ for a month, something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. And he did not remember any of it.

He forced himself to look at Luna's face, aware he was trembling, and fought the urge to shove past her defenses and find out what had happened. Her expression turned serious for a moment, and then she shifted her legs, revealing a second child dozing peacefully in . . . was that one of Remus' _doll beds?_

"Aurora Leonia," Luna murmured, as Snape squeezed his eyes shut briefly and willed himself not to faint. "And Caelus Cygnus." 

"Those are fine names," Severus said automatically, and she cocked her head towards the kitchen and gave him an affectionate but pointed look. 

"Yes," he said. "All right." 

When he opened the door, Remus was leaning against the sink, sipping a steaming mug of tea. His robes were clean, though his hair was loose and tangled around his face and his eyes were half yellow. Severus coughed quietly, then sat down in the nearest chair and clenched his hands together in his lap. 

"What's today's date, Severus?" Remus asked, his voice calm, and the yellow band around his pupils subsided into a thin ring of colour.

"October 29, 2007," Severus said, though he had a feeling that wasn't right.

"Mm, close enough," Remus murmured. "And the Minister for Magic?"

"Henry _bloody_ Edgecombe, may he grown warts on his todger. Remus, what –" he began, but the rest of his question was lost when Remus set the mug down on the counter and kissed him.

Surprised, though not displeased, Severus curled his fingers into Remus' hair and tugged him down so he was sitting on Severus' knee. Remus made a small contented noise and nuzzled Severus' face, then nipped at his ear a little. Severus sighed happily, wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and pulled him close, then kissed his way from Remus' mouth to the soft skin behind his ear.

After a minute Remus pulled away, his face flushed but his expression dark with worry. Severus arched an eyebrow at him and waited.

"I –" Remus began, in a tone he hadn't used in years, and Severus went very still. "The shop is gone, Severus, I'm sorry. They – it exploded. Hermione and Nott –"

"What?" Severus said, and the way Remus looked away told him they had died. _No_ , he thought, and closed his eyes. 

_They knew the risks,_ he reminded himself. _They volunteered to help you._ But that did nothing to ease the sudden ache in his chest. The loss of years of research, of the hundreds of carefully organized test batches of fertility potions, and of the sodding clinical test data that taken Granger two full days to compile and almost caused Severus to offer to impregnate Colin Creevey's horrible squeaky wife himself . . . it did not bear thinking about.

"They tried to kill you as well," Remus said, his voice shakier than it had been, and Severus opened his eyes. "I thought they had, actually, for a while, but . . . they had just stuffed you full of Shrinking Solution, as it turned out –"

"Shrinking Solution?" Severus repeated, as Remus pressed a few more kisses to the side of his head. "How many drops?"

"Forty, we think," Remus said, and Severus' eyes widened. No _wonder_ he ached all over. 

He briefly considered asking if he had done anything shameful while he had been . . . away . . . transformed? . . . then pushed the thought aside. He would bring it up later, when they were more assured of privacy.

"There were other attacks as well," Remus said softly. "Parkinson killed ten people in Diagon Alley trying to carry you off, including Bulstrode and Greengrass." 

"But they weren't even pregnant," Severus said, as rage began to bubble up behind the sadness.

"No," Remus said. "But Bulstrode was hiding a Muggle-born fiancé, and Greengrass' lover was part-Veela, though he doesn't change like Fleur. Anyway, Kingsley insisted everyone was safe, and then Parkinson nearly ripped Tonks open, and _in_ St. Mungo's, as well. After that, Minerva had Dung bring you here – which was a complete bloody disaster, I might add," Remus murmured, and his breath caught as if he were trying to stifle a laugh.

"And what about Potter?" Severus asked, irritated at even having to say the name, and Remus sighed quietly.

"He went out after Umbridge two days ago, with the Weasleys. He sent me an owl from Portsmouth this morning – apparently she's planning a visit to the local maternity ward tonight." Remus shifted uneasily in his lap, and his face went suspiciously blank.

"I see," Severus sighed, and rested his head against Remus' shoulder. "What time are we expected, then?"

"Eight o'clock," Remus said, and they sat in silence for a while, until a baby started wailing in the other room, and Remus got up to make more tea.  



End file.
